My Life as A Failed Model
There I was, doing nothing, when I received an Instagram notification from a Big Deal modeling agency: An agent wanted me to come into the office for a casting. Opening the message, I realized it was not from the main account but, rather, their “curve” division. Most Big Deal agencies, in a bid to be more inclusive, have separate plus-size divisions, and recently some have rebranded from “plus-size” to the more nebulous “curve”—but does this rebrand really do anything but dress up an unfairly tiered system?
Journey into Modeling
I am curvy—but curvy enough to go in for a curve casting? When I was growing up, standards for models were different. Wanting to be asked to model and wanting to model are each distinct desires. Everybody, I think, wants to be asked. You dream of someone eying you on the street as you trot along and they call out, “Hey! Have you ever considered modeling?”
- Being Invited to Model
- Reflections on Modeling Standards
- Influence of Media on Body Image
The Casting Experience
For the next week, I stared at the message, unsure of how to respond. Eventually, I decided to go for the casting. The experience was eye-opening and somewhat disappointing. The agent’s misconceptions about me and the industry’s evolving standards made me question my aspirations.
Challenges Faced
The agent’s surprise at my appearance, followed by questions about my ethnicity and hobbies, highlighted the complexities of the modeling world. The pressure to fit into specific boxes and meet certain criteria can be overwhelming.
Reflections on the Industry
The modeling industry has evolved, with Instagram models, influencer models, and a variety of categories emerging. The constant need to adapt and meet new standards can be daunting and lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Lessons Learned
As I left the casting, I realized that perhaps I needed to reevaluate my priorities and focus on aspects of my life beyond modeling. It was a moment of self-discovery and a reminder to not get too caught up in external validations.
Overall, my failed attempt at modeling served as a valuable lesson in self-acceptance and the importance of pursuing hobbies and passions outside of traditional standards of beauty.