What Is Breadcrumbing, the Dubious Dating Trend Everyone’s Talking About?
In a world filled with ever-evolving dating terms—soul ties, limerence, micro-cheating—it can be challenging to keep up with what’s new and what’s not. If you’re someone who doesn’t scroll through TikTok 24/7, you might find yourself out of the loop. Fear not! This post dives deep into breadcrumbing—a practice that’s been around for quite some time but has recently gained more attention.
Understanding Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing is a term coined by Psychology Today, defined as “stringing someone along with small nuggets of communication—but never fully committing to a relationship.” It’s the digital age’s version of ghosting but with occasional crumbs of contact like an Instagram DM or a comment that leaves you perplexed. Instead of complete silence, breadcrumbers sporadically engage just enough to keep their former interest on the hook.
Pop-Culture Examples
- Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Rachel Bloom’s series featured a song about “love kernels,” describing how small compliments are fed to someone to keep them interested, perfectly capturing the essence of breadcrumbing.
- Sex and the City: Big’s treatment of Carrie throughout their relationship is a classic example. Avoiding intimacy during dating but pursuing her when she’s with others mirrors the unpredictability and inconsistency of breadcrumbing.
The Psychology Behind Breadcrumbing
Breadcrumbing taps into the psychological principle known as intermittent reinforcement, explained by psychologist Susan Albers. Just like in gambling, where sporadic wins keep people coming back for more, breadcrumbers provide just enough attention to maintain their target’s interest without offering stability or commitment.
Emotional Impact of Breadcrumbing
This dating trend can be emotionally draining and confusing. The intermittent nature of contact fosters hope in the possibility of a relationship, yet leaves the recipient feeling uncertain and often leads to emotional turmoil. Recognizing these patterns is crucial for anyone finding themselves entangled in such dynamics.
How to Address Breadcrumbing
If you find yourself on the receiving end of breadcrumbing, it’s essential to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being. Cutting off contact can be a challenging but necessary step.
- Reflect: Consider why these interactions affect you deeply and what this means for your growth.
- Say No More: Politely but firmly communicate your decision to end all contact. A script might look like: “I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’ve decided that further communication isn’t beneficial for my growth. Please respect my boundaries by not contacting me in any form.”
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with friends or seek professional guidance to help reinforce your decision.
Final Thoughts
Breadcrumbing is a complex and often painful experience, but understanding it can empower you to take control of your dating life. By recognizing the signs and setting firm boundaries, you protect your emotional health and pave the way for healthier relationships in the future.